urban spaces pt. ii

space can give context. it can also disorient. finding spaces within the city that look otherworldly and foreign is a rare opportunity for creativity. i immersed myself in this new space and explored it physically and aesthetically. this space is the john f. kennedy presidential library in boston. 

the three outfits featured offer slightly different interpretations of the space. i hope you all enjoy. let me know what you think in the comments below. 

photographed by victoria gruenert

 

an open letter to my younger self ✨

i know you never thought you would be where i am - in boston, harnessing my creativity every day, alive, and happy. instead, the path you were on was one of safety. it didn’t excite you - it was merely a path. you felt stagnant, uninspired, yet safe. i know you were fierce, imaginative, ambitious, and driven. but you couldn’t have seen it in yourself. you weren’t in a space where you could be kind with your thoughts, gentle with your touch. instead, you were rough, like stone not yet weathered by years of embracing its place in nature. you couldn’t even see past the suburbs to imagine a life where you didn’t have to feel like a weight sat on your rib cage every day. 

i also know that you never imagined that you would be in a place where this photo would be taken of me. that you would never wear the earrings i have on right now. fear, the incessant worry that people would automatically know, or even just think, that you could be #gay. with that worry came the reality - the rejection, the isolation, the loneliness. you desperately tried to run away from it, to shove it down so far it could never see the light of day again. the way you walked, the way you talked, the way you approached the world was guided by that terror. you were afraid that the label was a life sentence to loneliness. 

i’m not alone and neither are you. the world has finally shown you kindness. now, i can love the way i always knew you could - like a dam that finally buckled under the weight of water, it pours out of you. the amount of love i have for the people around me, for the people that makes my heart full, is boundless. you never knew you could be capable of so much love. but i did. 

i was, at one point, furious with you for fighting this truth, for hiding, cowering in the shadows, when you had so much potential to bask in the sun. but i forgive you, because i love you. I forgive you because i am proud of you. i am proud of who you have become, of who you are - because now you are me. and i am proud of me ✨